You know, I am continually surprised by how easy everything is not. I know that sounds silly, but it's true. It's something a long the lines of, "the grass is always greener on the other side."
Listening to Al Fox Carraway speak at events, and by reading her blog, I am comforted knowing that I am not the only one who is feeling this way.
At the Roots Tech event she spoke about her conversion to the LDS Church and the struggles that she went through AFTER her baptism. That peaked my interest. How could thing be MORE difficult after her baptism? Things are supposed to be easier after making the conscious decision to choose God and choose Jesus Christ.........aren't they?
No.
Without the bad, we cannot know the good. So, there will be struggles. There will be times that we are so confused and so upset and dealing with so much. But we need only ask God for help, and for the reminder that He has so much more planned for us that we can ever imagine.
I am soon to get my endowment.
I thought the process would take a while, months, maybe even a year. I thought I could talk to my bishop about it and then work towards it. I wasn't worried. I wasn't planning on going to the Temple for my endowment soon. I was excited to work and to learn more about my Gospel, and my Lord.
I was about to be very surprised.
I met with my bishop and he interviewed me. During this interview, yes I was nervous. I didn't want to be told that I was a total mess and had to work a very long time to receive my endowment. But i was ready to be told to wait and to pray and to study and to attend a temple prep class. At the end of the interview questions, his response shocked me. He told me, "Okay McKel, I believe you are ready to go to the Temple."
I was shocked. So soon?? Was he sure??? Weren't there other things??? There had to be?! I was about ready to tell him I wasn't ready! No! Abort mission abort mission!!
I didn't abort. I felt a calm feeling come over me. I took a breath. I replied, "Wow. This is great."
I still feel like I need to abort sometimes. Like I need to stop. Because if I go through with this, I am making covenants and promises, and I am expected to keep them. It's like Spiderman: "With great power comes great responsibility." It's true. With the knowledge that I have and with my mission here on Earth, there will be MUCH opposition. There will be difficult times........some so hard I haven't even fathomed what they are going to be. But I won't know the good if I don't accept the bad. I won't grow into who I am supposed to be if I don't go through these trials. Satan is on a mission too. He is on a mission to convince each and everyone one of us that we are not worthy. That we are awful, bad people who aren't good enough, and should just give up. Those are all lies. Please don't listen to them.
I am nervous. I am afraid of disappointing myself and my Father. I doubt myself.
....But I am trying to doubt my doubts before I doubt my Faith. (President D. F. Uchtdorf, Gen. Conference 2013)
"Hard times will consistently be there. But.....so will Christ." -Al Fox Carraway, RootsTech
There is opposition in all things. And, it couldn't be that way. Good things don't just come and come and there be no bad things. Hard times will continuously and consistently be there. I am now realizing that this is to remind us (I know this is especially true for me) that we can't do it alone. We can't. God is there to help us and love us and guide us. He has given us so many amazing tools! Not only do we have the prophets of old, but we have modern prophets here now on this Earth today! They give us revelation almost daily! They have twitter accounts and tweet! (isn't that cool?!) I love looking on my phone and seeing words of inspiration and guidance there instantly from my prophet. Yes, MY prophet. And your prophet. We have scriptures that we can get ON OUR PHONES. It is so accessible now. We can carry theses ancient stories and precious words with us Everywhere we go, whether we are traveling overseas or just across the street. I urge and encourage you to take the time to read them! They even read to you! I love that feature. If I know I am running late or don't want to sit and read, I have them read to me from my app. We have the Ensign, New Era, Liahona. We have the Internet and lds.org, and mormon.org, and all of these great sites to help us, and answer our questions. Let us use these.
"Do not let giving up be an option." (Al Fox)
This helps me. This reminds me.
"Keep going. Even in the most confusing and darkest of times knowing that the greatest of blessings are already there, waiting for personally and individually YOU." -Al Fox
Forget not, why you are here.
Listening to Al Fox Carraway speak at events, and by reading her blog, I am comforted knowing that I am not the only one who is feeling this way.
At the Roots Tech event she spoke about her conversion to the LDS Church and the struggles that she went through AFTER her baptism. That peaked my interest. How could thing be MORE difficult after her baptism? Things are supposed to be easier after making the conscious decision to choose God and choose Jesus Christ.........aren't they?
No.
Without the bad, we cannot know the good. So, there will be struggles. There will be times that we are so confused and so upset and dealing with so much. But we need only ask God for help, and for the reminder that He has so much more planned for us that we can ever imagine.
I am soon to get my endowment.
I thought the process would take a while, months, maybe even a year. I thought I could talk to my bishop about it and then work towards it. I wasn't worried. I wasn't planning on going to the Temple for my endowment soon. I was excited to work and to learn more about my Gospel, and my Lord.
I was about to be very surprised.
I met with my bishop and he interviewed me. During this interview, yes I was nervous. I didn't want to be told that I was a total mess and had to work a very long time to receive my endowment. But i was ready to be told to wait and to pray and to study and to attend a temple prep class. At the end of the interview questions, his response shocked me. He told me, "Okay McKel, I believe you are ready to go to the Temple."
I was shocked. So soon?? Was he sure??? Weren't there other things??? There had to be?! I was about ready to tell him I wasn't ready! No! Abort mission abort mission!!
I didn't abort. I felt a calm feeling come over me. I took a breath. I replied, "Wow. This is great."
I still feel like I need to abort sometimes. Like I need to stop. Because if I go through with this, I am making covenants and promises, and I am expected to keep them. It's like Spiderman: "With great power comes great responsibility." It's true. With the knowledge that I have and with my mission here on Earth, there will be MUCH opposition. There will be difficult times........some so hard I haven't even fathomed what they are going to be. But I won't know the good if I don't accept the bad. I won't grow into who I am supposed to be if I don't go through these trials. Satan is on a mission too. He is on a mission to convince each and everyone one of us that we are not worthy. That we are awful, bad people who aren't good enough, and should just give up. Those are all lies. Please don't listen to them.
I am nervous. I am afraid of disappointing myself and my Father. I doubt myself.
....But I am trying to doubt my doubts before I doubt my Faith. (President D. F. Uchtdorf, Gen. Conference 2013)
"Hard times will consistently be there. But.....so will Christ." -Al Fox Carraway, RootsTech
There is opposition in all things. And, it couldn't be that way. Good things don't just come and come and there be no bad things. Hard times will continuously and consistently be there. I am now realizing that this is to remind us (I know this is especially true for me) that we can't do it alone. We can't. God is there to help us and love us and guide us. He has given us so many amazing tools! Not only do we have the prophets of old, but we have modern prophets here now on this Earth today! They give us revelation almost daily! They have twitter accounts and tweet! (isn't that cool?!) I love looking on my phone and seeing words of inspiration and guidance there instantly from my prophet. Yes, MY prophet. And your prophet. We have scriptures that we can get ON OUR PHONES. It is so accessible now. We can carry theses ancient stories and precious words with us Everywhere we go, whether we are traveling overseas or just across the street. I urge and encourage you to take the time to read them! They even read to you! I love that feature. If I know I am running late or don't want to sit and read, I have them read to me from my app. We have the Ensign, New Era, Liahona. We have the Internet and lds.org, and mormon.org, and all of these great sites to help us, and answer our questions. Let us use these.
"Do not let giving up be an option." (Al Fox)
This helps me. This reminds me.
"Keep going. Even in the most confusing and darkest of times knowing that the greatest of blessings are already there, waiting for personally and individually YOU." -Al Fox
Forget not, why you are here.
