Don't Give Up. Come back! :)

This is perfect for my post title!

Sorry it's been so long! How are you!? I missed you!! I hope all is well with you, and wherever you are at in the world.

I want to talk about a few things. Prayer. Perfection. Inviting others, and coming back yourself.

So, a few things first.
I was able to hang out with my super awesome cousin +Shyann McCoy a few weeks ago and that was super rad. I had a blast, and we went to her institute class together. I had a great time and was reminded that I need to go to my own institute classes. oops. Progression, right? There is always room to improve! Yay!

Okay. So life is super frustrating sometimes, right? I wish that it was easier. I wish that things could all fall into place....except that I don't wish that. I know that I say that I do and some days I do think it'd be really great if things could just work out perfectly. But then we wouldn't know the good times. I know that I wouldn't be able to learn about hard work, and the satisfaction of actually doing something myself. I love that we have the agency to do that!

I made some choices that have affected my temple attendance. I'm super bummed about it. I'm mostly disappointed in myself. I know that it happens. we aren't perfect. I'm for sure not perfect! Anyway, it's been about 3 weeks since I was able to attend the temple. I sure do feel a difference in my life and it's not something I am enjoying too much. I know that there are consequences in all things. In 2 Nephi 2:15, it says, "...it must needs be that there was an opposition; even the forbidden fruit in opposition to the tree of life; the one being sweet and the other bitter'. So Heavenly Father intended for this, so that we could know the great things from the bad things, and the light from the dark. He did this so we could have our agency and know that our choices do matter. So I get that. It's not always easy to appreciate this.
So, I've been pretty upset. Mad at myself. There's Lucifer whispering to me, 'You suck. Why did you even try? You know you're not good enough to be part of this church," and "You've already started going downhill, so why not keep going? It's too hard to go back." "You don't have to tell anyone. You can keep it a secret. Who cares." so on and so forth. I almost believed it.
But, thankfully I follow some LDS boards on Pinterest (my pinterest is here) and I came across this  cute picture.

Isn't that the greatest?!
I was pretty bitter, I'm not even going to pretend that I wasn't. But when I saw this, my heart softened. I have decided to be optimistic, and ready and willing to learn what I need to learn from this. It has been great! I have made the conscious decision to not be angry, and to learn from this, moreso that I ever thought that I would.

I think that failure and disappointing ourselves is hard. I think that we are hardest on ourselves, and we think that we have to internalize that. Especially with social Media now today. Everyone is sharing these wonderful pictures of their great successes and their super awesome lives, and we don't see the negative ness of it. No one wants to be negative and hear about it, right? I agree. However. it's hard not to compare yourself to others and their success's. Please don't. Don't compare your middle or beginning to someone Else's end. You are so great. I have to tell myself this daily. I'm 25 and not married and I live in Utah. Like, come on. I'm practically a spinster now!!! Ha ha, my prime years are past...just kidding! Thanks for letting me share my negative things here, and thanks for being a great support system for me. I hope that I can do the same for you, no matter what is going on in your life. Anyway! Keep going. Do your best. You are awesome. (This is my mantra).







Which brings me to prayer. You guys, prayer is the bombdotcom. Another picture I came across:

I have spent a lot of time wishing. I could have been praying! I know that God hears my prayers, and that he answers them.
Two weeks ago in church, a member of the stake presidency came to speak. He talked about praying for others. Yeah, I think that most of us pray for our families and for the missionaries, soldiers, etc. But there are so many others we can pray for. I have made it a point to make sure if I know someone is struggling, to pray for them. How many of us have been blessed by the prayers of our grandmothers and mothers? Countless! It's amazing. The power of prayer is real. It's also free. I encourage you to talk to your Father in Heaven. Let Him get to know you more. Talk to Him every day.
I wasn't good at steady prayers; to be honest I sucked. I'd pray like once a week. Now, it's the first thing I think of when I wake up! It's my first priority when I get to bed. It took me a while. I came back to church in October, and it's now March. It took constant reminders and nights and days of night praying. It took scripture study. You can do it!

 I read a really great article on LDS.Org about coming back to church.
I loved it. I am so glad I came back. It took me a few years. I came back a few times but never really stuck with it. I'm not sure what happened in October. I know I had a complete change of heart. I'm so glad I did. My life is very different but very much the same as it was. Maybe my life is the same but I am different. I am happy. I find happiness more than I did before. I love it. So, for those of you who have fallen away, I encourage you to come back. I hope you do. You are so welcome. I know that growing up in Utah and living in a community with so much hypocrisy and judgment is difficult. I grew up in it. I know what you feel, what you've felt and been through. It's not meant to be that way, and I am sorry that it has been that way. I encourage you to find the strength to come back. Richard G Scott gave a fantastic talk (click me!) about coming back. Please read it! Pray before you do. I pray for you. I pray for all of you to come back.

On that note, God did give us the agency, to do what we want. I just read this in regards to inviting others back to church. I have been a little bummed when those I do invite say, "Oh, I can't this Sunday" or "Sunday is my only day off" "that's too early" "I don't like reverse church" but! I won't stop. Not in an annoying way or to be a pest; just to remind them (you!) that there is always a seat available next to me and you are always always always welcome. i even bring snacks!! :D I am grateful for those friends who do come and have supported me and my choices.

I hope to see you all at church! Good luck with the week. Tuesdays are tough.

Why You Should Go To The Temple....Now.

You know, as I started going back to church, I kept getting these urges and feelings to go to the temple to do baptisms for the dead. I thought this was strange, because I hadn't been to the temple in 9 1/2 years....why now? And why so soon since I had returned to church? I disregarded these feelings for a few weeks, then talked to my missionaries and they urged me to listen to these feelings and to also talk to my bishop about it. I met with my bishop and we made a plan for me to get my temporary temple recommend. I was super excited.

Soon after that I met with my bishop again, and received my temporary temple recommend. I could go do baptisms! How exciting! I soon planned my first trip.

Being from Richfield, UT, the closest temple to me was the Manti Temple. I had only ever been there to do baptisms. My grandma Joann and Grandpa Mac would take me, and we would go with my great Uncle Larry and Aunt Marie to do this. What amazing times we had. It is about an hour or so to drive to Manti from where we lived, and we would all take my grandma's green van. I never realized how much I would cherish these times together.

Grandma Joann and Grandpa Mac

I am SO thankful that my grandmother extended the invitation for me to go with her to the temple. I didn't fully realize why I was going, or understand the significance of what I was doing there, but boy am I grateful beyond words for this. My grandpa wasn't LDS and a part of the church for a lot of my childhood. My grandma (as far as I can remember) was always a faithful church-goer. She was the organist for the ward and pianist for Relief Society, and was also a member of the ward choir. I would go with her, on and off. Eventually, in 2003, my grandpa made the decision do be baptized into the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints - the day after my birthday! What a birthday present.

It was soon after this that my grandma asked me to see if I could become temple worthy. Like I said before - man am I glad I made that decision when I did.

Growing up in Utah, I never realized just how many temples we have so close by. Growing up in South Central Utah, where the temple was accessible, with no great feat or saving up of money to get there, just a nice family drive, I have taken this great opportunity for granted. Reading about others' temple experiences and the feats that they had to go through to get there amazes me, and gives me a deeper appreciation for the blessing of having 14 in my state that I can attend, and some within only 15 minutes away.

I entered the Salt Lake Temple on January 13th, 2015 for the first time. The temple workers there were so wonderful, welcoming and happy. They welcomed me with open arms, and directed me where to go and exactly what one is supposed to do. I was so nervous! I felt so silly that I was 25 and didn't know the routine! That was never a thought that crossed their minds. The temple wasn't busy that day, so I was able to have a very personal and private experience in the baptismal font. It is something I will never forget.


The Salt Lake temple is very similar to the Manti temple, and being there immediately brought back memories of times when I would go with my grandma and grandpa to the the temple. I was the first grandchild that my grandma Mac baptized when we did baptisms for the dead. It was such a wonderful privilege and experience to have with him there, in the temple. One I will never forget, and am sure to cherish always.

I have set a goal to attend the temple monthly. So far, I have kept my goal, and sometime exceed it! What a wonderful feeling the temple brings me. I feel my grandma's spirit there. In the SLC temple, I am often times back in the Manti temple, with my grandma Mac and Uncle Larry. My grandma is nearby, watching, smiling. I am so proud to say I am her granddaughter. To say that I am my mother's daughter. I am proud of my family and my ancestors. I am proud of the work they did here on this earth, both here of the world and temporally. I am excited to raise my future family in this wonderful church,and to continue my family's legacy.

As I wrote about before, I am going to receive my endowment soon, and just got my temple recommend to do so. I am so happy! I am also nervous, scared, and sometimes doubtful of myself. Am I ready for this commitment? Am I ready for this level spiritually?? After talking with a ward member and good friend, he said something to me that brought instant comfort: "Bishop knows when you are ready. You may doubt yourself and wonder, but he knows when you are ready for something."
Wow!!
I am so lucky and blessed to have such supportive friends and ward members and leaders.

I realize I don't know much about what becoming endowed means. I decided to do as much preparation that I can to be ready for the day that I go.

You guys! We have such AMAZING resources!!!!!!!! The world is filled with such accessible knowledge!!!! The lds.org website is such an amazing site. It is here that I found more information about why LDS members build temples, what happens inside the temples, and the blessings of the temple.
----If you haven't been to a temple open house or have had the opportunity to attend the temple, click here to see what's inside and learn some more about the temple!!

This is what it means to receive an endowment:

Endowment

One ordinance we receive in the temple is the endowment. The word endowment means “gift” or “bestowal.” As part of this ordinance, we are taught about the purpose of life, the mission and Atonement of Jesus Christ, and Heavenly Father’s plan for His children. We gain a glimpse of what it will be like to live in His presence as we feel the peaceful atmosphere of the temple.

I know this isn't a novel. It's not even a page! But after reading this, I instantly felt much more knowledgeable. I instantly felt like: I am ready to receive this information! I can and will understand my purpose here on life much more. All my feelings of insecurity and unworthiness left.

I go to the temple for several reasons.

• I go to feel closer to my Heavenly Father. 
• I go to do temple work.
• I go to remember my ancestors; to give them the opportunities to accept the blessings and ordinances of the church.
•  I go to be with my grandma Joann.

Once again, I urge all of you to go to the temple. If you're unworthy to go, become worthy! You can do it. There are so many blessings there waiting for you!! Your Father loves you so much and wants to be with you! You are invited by so many to go to the temple. Do not be afraid to go alone. There are so many who are willing and waiting for you to ask them, and to go with you.

My love for this church, my Father in Heaven, and for all of you, my brothers and sisters, grows so much more each day. I learn so much from all of you. 

I'll see you at the temple. :)