😋❤️✌🏼️

I never cease to be amazed at how much my Father loves me. He knows just what I need. 

 He know just what I need to hear. Having the reassurance that He hears me and He loves me. Just through scripture!! Gosh it's so great. I don't normally like to just do a quick study session because I love writing my thoughts and writing down things that mean a lot to me, but tonight was profound enough even though it was only 20 minutes. 

 And the reminder that the Lord will try my patience and He will try my faith. To persevere and not give up. 

Some of you know that I recently received my endowment this Tuesday. , k also received some negative feedback from people. I was feeling so bad. Then I spoke with my cousin and my mom, and they reminded me that the power of the Atonement is real AND that Satan is so upset right now. He had me before and he wants me back on his side, so he'll do whatever it takes to get me there. 

I'm glad I disregarded the negativity as quickly as it came. 

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that scripture study is so powerful and amazing. We all need it. Father has things for you to know and He wants you to realize your potential and how much He loves you. Read your scripture! How amazing is it that we live in an age where we can read them on our freakin phones!!!! There is so much for you in the scriptures. 

Happy May Day ☺️

Thanks for your support everyone.

✌🏼️

Living with Real Intent when Life isn't What I Thought it Would Be

I know that my life most definitely hasn't turned out anything at all like I thought it would. But, thinking back on it, I'm not sure I ever had a clear plan after I turned 21.

When I was 8 years old, I decided that I wanted to be an attorney at law. Man, was I stoked about it! I loved going to the law office that my mom worked at and helping file or even better - using the shredder!!! Ha ha. I learned early on a lot about the law and how it works. I learned much about different types of law and different types of attorneys (and people for that matter). I loved everything about it.

In high school (go Wildcats! RHS woo!)I took AP History and AP Government so that I could get a jump start on my law career. I loved my classes and my teacher! (Mr. Player [yes that's his real name] you are a legend! Crab cakes!) I had decided then that my major in college would be Political Science. I still wanted to be an attorney, but they don't really have a "law" major. They kind of do, but that's more for people who want to go into things like becoming a policeman/correctional officer etc. At SUU (Go T-Birds!) I studied political science with an emphasis for international relations. I loved my French and Spanish and German classes too much to give those up completely. I had a great time. I learned so much and was all set!! I graduated one year early with a good GPA. I was set to go to law school!

So...why didn't I?
Five years later...I'm still not in law school. Yes, I do have my Bachelor's Degree of Science in Political Science (BS in PoliSci, ha ha!! That's funny) but I'm not an attorney.

And quite frankly I have no desire to go to law school anymore. I didn't take out any student loans for college, and I'm terrified to do so for law school. I also know that the first year of law school it's nearly impossible to have a job and complete your first year successfully. That scares me, because I am an adult and have rent and car payments and things that require me to work....so not working is pretty much not an option.

So, I'm bummed. I don't feel like I've accomplished much. I suppose I can go back to school later..if I want. I know many many attorneys that were teachers or paralegals before they went to law school, and they were quite older when they went. I could do that.

I guess what I'm getting at is: Life is not what I thought it would be. I lost sight of where I was going. I'm disappointed in myself that it has taken me so long to get back on the path.

I am a server. That is how I make money to live. I have been serving for 10 years exactly this year. I enjoy serving; I enjoy meeting people and shoot I sure do enjoy food! But, I don't want to be a server forever. It isn't the hardest of jobs to learn but it is hard on the body. My feet already have issues and being on them for 10+ hours at a time isn't ideal. I don't do much else because I'm so exhausted from running around all day at work.  Where has the time gone? Wasn't I supposed to be an attorney by now? Or SOMETHING?! Not just a........waitress. (insert sad face).

In January I was able to attend a devotional strictly for YSA by brother Randall L. Ridd. Here is the link to watch or read it. I highly recommend you do, even if you're not YSA. If you are feeling like you have lost sight of where you want(ed) to be in life, please read this. It helped me so much. I feel like I'm slowly getting back to the path that I needed to be on. I have often wondered what am I supposed to do. Where am I supposed to be. Can't anyone tell me? It used to be so easy, when I (thought) had my life figured out. Brother Ridd said,

It has been said that “the two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why” you were born.² Because we have the gospel, we don’t have to spend our entire life trying to discover its purpose. Instead, we can focus on fulfilling that purpose.

I have found out most of the answer to my question. There are still a few holes, but I am finding the answers to those through my daily experiences with scripture study, prayer, and church attendance.
I got distracted with the world. I got so scared for real life, that I hid away in my life. I hid from church; I hid from God; I hid from others who could have been great friends. I got distracted being scared.  Brother Ridd also said this about being distracted, and I know I'm sooooooooooooooo guilty of this...(two hours wasted away watching Vine videos....I'm not proud)

How many times have you sat down at the computer to do homework or an assignment for work when suddenly up pops an ad for something that you had been shopping for recently? Then, as you are browsing the online stores, you notice that a few of your friends are online, so you begin chatting with them. Then you receive an alert that a friend has posted something on Facebook, and you just have to see what it is. Before you know it, you’ve lost valuable time and forgotten why you got on the computer in the first place. So many times we get distracted when we should have acted. Distractions rob you of time that could have been invested in doing good. The ability to focus helps us avoid distractions. 

 Focus is so important. Our focus in life is so important. As this test demonstrates, we typically find what we are looking for. Or, as the scriptures put it, “Seek, and ye shall find” (Luke 11:9).

I really enjoyed the challenge that Brother Ridd issued. He asks three questions, that we should ask ourselves when doing something. This goes for all aspects of our lives: dating, school, work, moving, church, family, etc. I'd like to share these here along with his testimony.

I would like you to ponder these three questions. I invite you to share your responses on social media, using #ldsdevo.

First: Can you do it? Is it possible for you to do these three small and simple things? Can you strive to keep your covenant to “always remember him” (D&C 20:77, 79)? Can you make time to pray with real intent and study the scriptures daily?

Second: Will it work? Do you really believe the Lord’s promise? Do you believe that the compounding effect of always having His Spirit with you will have a profound influence on all aspects of your life?

Finally: Is it worth it?

I testify that it is worth it and it makes all the difference. As you do these things, you will discover that the most important “why” behind everything you do is that you love the Lord and recognize His great love for you. May you each find great joy in your search for perfection and in understanding and doing His will. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.e. As you do these things, you will discover that the most important “why” behind everything you do is that you love the Lord and recognize His great love for you. May you each find great joy in your search for perfection and in understanding and doing His will. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

I'd next like to share with you something from the Women's General Conference. It was so great, and I'm so truly grateful that we live in an age and time where we can get these wonderful messages to us over the television, radio, and computer. It's truly humbling to know that our Heavenly Father has blessed us with these great tools to better get to know Him and learn of Him and the restored church.
This talk was from Bonnie L. Oscarson. On the lds.org website there is a section devoted to questions that general conference talks have answered. I know that there were several talks that I feel were written just for me  and i'm so lucky  to know that my Father in Heaven hears my prayers and cares so deeply for me. However, I didn't see this talk until the other day...and once again my questions were answered and my soul comforted.

What if my life hasn’t turned out like I thought it would?
“May I point out something obvious? Life rarely goes exactly according to plan for anyone, and we are very aware that not all women are experiencing what the proclamation describes. It is still important to understand and teach the Lord’s pattern and strive for the realization of that pattern the best we can.“Each of us has a part to play in the plan, and each of us is equally valued in the eyes of the Lord. We should remember that a loving Heavenly Father is aware of our righteous desires and will honor His promises that nothing will be withheld from those who faithfully keep their covenants."

Isn't this so comforting? To know that others not only are feeling this way, but that the Lord knows that we have been feeling this way? That He has given us answers and ways to continue on and have our questions answered and our pain released? We seem to always over complicate things. I know I do anyway. I shouldn't complicate things so much. But, I know that the Lord knows my heart. He knows my desires and he knows my sorrows. He knows what I need to know and learn in this world today, and He has sent me tools and ways to accomplish these things.

I bear with you my testimony of prayer. I testify that the power of personal prayer is real, and that the Lord hears you. He has answers for you and resources for you to know the answers you seek. I testify that God sent a prophet. I testify that Thomas S. Monson is the true pprophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and the things that we are told during Conference are things that we have been praying about, and that the Lord wants us to know. I hope that you can find the answers that you have been searching for.

Happy Sunday! <3

You Never Think It Will Happen To You

For the first time in my life (that I can remember), I had a very very close friend of mine tell me that I've changed since I've become active and started attending church meetings and church functions. It wasn't a good conversation.

I'm pretty upset about it, actually.

My friend confronted me, saying that I went from "zero to sixty" with church. She told me, "Because I'm not Mormon, does that mean I can't be your best friend anymore?"
That really hurt.

I have never in my life said that I have to have LDS/Mormon friends. EVER. I actually have more non member friends than I do member friends. I have always invited those to attend church with me, so that we can do things together, and that we can hang out.

We both got upset with each other, and there were tears and shouting.

I said, "Yeah, I go to the temple by myself and I go to church by myself  because there isn't anyone who wants/can go with me! I do it because it is something that is super important to me. I study the scriptures because I am making time for those things that are important to me!"

and apparently what she heard is, "You aren't important to me anymore."

I'm so hurt.

I hardly ever do any activities outside of Sunday church meetings (sorry about that ward, you guys are awesome I just have a crazy work schedule). Maybe twice a month. I do go to the temple when I can, especially now that I got my temple recommend back!! Even so, that's only maybe once or twice a month. So......how is it that this is my fault and I'm 'so changed'?

Previously this friend said that she did support me because it made me happy.
It doesn't seem like she does.

I am upset. I don't want to lose a friend, especially a friend of like 8 years. But I refuse to sacrifice my church attendance and temple attendace because of this.




I never thought I would have this type of conversation ever. I never thought that I could lose a friend because of the fact that I am a Mormon, and because I chose Church.

Hallelujah!

Hey! Real quick post from the mobile. 

You guys. 

I got my temple recommend back. 

I GOT IT BACK.

I. got. It. Back. 

How great! I cried. A lot. I am so happy. I can't wait to go to the temple again. Seriously. 

I didn't think I would get it back so soon. The Lord has a way of surprising us so sweetly, doesn't He?

Thanks for all of your support and for your prayers. You all inspire me and help me. Please know you are loved and cared about and you make a difference. 

Happy Tuesday!

Don't Give Up. Come back! :)

This is perfect for my post title!

Sorry it's been so long! How are you!? I missed you!! I hope all is well with you, and wherever you are at in the world.

I want to talk about a few things. Prayer. Perfection. Inviting others, and coming back yourself.

So, a few things first.
I was able to hang out with my super awesome cousin +Shyann McCoy a few weeks ago and that was super rad. I had a blast, and we went to her institute class together. I had a great time and was reminded that I need to go to my own institute classes. oops. Progression, right? There is always room to improve! Yay!

Okay. So life is super frustrating sometimes, right? I wish that it was easier. I wish that things could all fall into place....except that I don't wish that. I know that I say that I do and some days I do think it'd be really great if things could just work out perfectly. But then we wouldn't know the good times. I know that I wouldn't be able to learn about hard work, and the satisfaction of actually doing something myself. I love that we have the agency to do that!

I made some choices that have affected my temple attendance. I'm super bummed about it. I'm mostly disappointed in myself. I know that it happens. we aren't perfect. I'm for sure not perfect! Anyway, it's been about 3 weeks since I was able to attend the temple. I sure do feel a difference in my life and it's not something I am enjoying too much. I know that there are consequences in all things. In 2 Nephi 2:15, it says, "...it must needs be that there was an opposition; even the forbidden fruit in opposition to the tree of life; the one being sweet and the other bitter'. So Heavenly Father intended for this, so that we could know the great things from the bad things, and the light from the dark. He did this so we could have our agency and know that our choices do matter. So I get that. It's not always easy to appreciate this.
So, I've been pretty upset. Mad at myself. There's Lucifer whispering to me, 'You suck. Why did you even try? You know you're not good enough to be part of this church," and "You've already started going downhill, so why not keep going? It's too hard to go back." "You don't have to tell anyone. You can keep it a secret. Who cares." so on and so forth. I almost believed it.
But, thankfully I follow some LDS boards on Pinterest (my pinterest is here) and I came across this  cute picture.

Isn't that the greatest?!
I was pretty bitter, I'm not even going to pretend that I wasn't. But when I saw this, my heart softened. I have decided to be optimistic, and ready and willing to learn what I need to learn from this. It has been great! I have made the conscious decision to not be angry, and to learn from this, moreso that I ever thought that I would.

I think that failure and disappointing ourselves is hard. I think that we are hardest on ourselves, and we think that we have to internalize that. Especially with social Media now today. Everyone is sharing these wonderful pictures of their great successes and their super awesome lives, and we don't see the negative ness of it. No one wants to be negative and hear about it, right? I agree. However. it's hard not to compare yourself to others and their success's. Please don't. Don't compare your middle or beginning to someone Else's end. You are so great. I have to tell myself this daily. I'm 25 and not married and I live in Utah. Like, come on. I'm practically a spinster now!!! Ha ha, my prime years are past...just kidding! Thanks for letting me share my negative things here, and thanks for being a great support system for me. I hope that I can do the same for you, no matter what is going on in your life. Anyway! Keep going. Do your best. You are awesome. (This is my mantra).







Which brings me to prayer. You guys, prayer is the bombdotcom. Another picture I came across:

I have spent a lot of time wishing. I could have been praying! I know that God hears my prayers, and that he answers them.
Two weeks ago in church, a member of the stake presidency came to speak. He talked about praying for others. Yeah, I think that most of us pray for our families and for the missionaries, soldiers, etc. But there are so many others we can pray for. I have made it a point to make sure if I know someone is struggling, to pray for them. How many of us have been blessed by the prayers of our grandmothers and mothers? Countless! It's amazing. The power of prayer is real. It's also free. I encourage you to talk to your Father in Heaven. Let Him get to know you more. Talk to Him every day.
I wasn't good at steady prayers; to be honest I sucked. I'd pray like once a week. Now, it's the first thing I think of when I wake up! It's my first priority when I get to bed. It took me a while. I came back to church in October, and it's now March. It took constant reminders and nights and days of night praying. It took scripture study. You can do it!

 I read a really great article on LDS.Org about coming back to church.
I loved it. I am so glad I came back. It took me a few years. I came back a few times but never really stuck with it. I'm not sure what happened in October. I know I had a complete change of heart. I'm so glad I did. My life is very different but very much the same as it was. Maybe my life is the same but I am different. I am happy. I find happiness more than I did before. I love it. So, for those of you who have fallen away, I encourage you to come back. I hope you do. You are so welcome. I know that growing up in Utah and living in a community with so much hypocrisy and judgment is difficult. I grew up in it. I know what you feel, what you've felt and been through. It's not meant to be that way, and I am sorry that it has been that way. I encourage you to find the strength to come back. Richard G Scott gave a fantastic talk (click me!) about coming back. Please read it! Pray before you do. I pray for you. I pray for all of you to come back.

On that note, God did give us the agency, to do what we want. I just read this in regards to inviting others back to church. I have been a little bummed when those I do invite say, "Oh, I can't this Sunday" or "Sunday is my only day off" "that's too early" "I don't like reverse church" but! I won't stop. Not in an annoying way or to be a pest; just to remind them (you!) that there is always a seat available next to me and you are always always always welcome. i even bring snacks!! :D I am grateful for those friends who do come and have supported me and my choices.

I hope to see you all at church! Good luck with the week. Tuesdays are tough.

Why You Should Go To The Temple....Now.

You know, as I started going back to church, I kept getting these urges and feelings to go to the temple to do baptisms for the dead. I thought this was strange, because I hadn't been to the temple in 9 1/2 years....why now? And why so soon since I had returned to church? I disregarded these feelings for a few weeks, then talked to my missionaries and they urged me to listen to these feelings and to also talk to my bishop about it. I met with my bishop and we made a plan for me to get my temporary temple recommend. I was super excited.

Soon after that I met with my bishop again, and received my temporary temple recommend. I could go do baptisms! How exciting! I soon planned my first trip.

Being from Richfield, UT, the closest temple to me was the Manti Temple. I had only ever been there to do baptisms. My grandma Joann and Grandpa Mac would take me, and we would go with my great Uncle Larry and Aunt Marie to do this. What amazing times we had. It is about an hour or so to drive to Manti from where we lived, and we would all take my grandma's green van. I never realized how much I would cherish these times together.

Grandma Joann and Grandpa Mac

I am SO thankful that my grandmother extended the invitation for me to go with her to the temple. I didn't fully realize why I was going, or understand the significance of what I was doing there, but boy am I grateful beyond words for this. My grandpa wasn't LDS and a part of the church for a lot of my childhood. My grandma (as far as I can remember) was always a faithful church-goer. She was the organist for the ward and pianist for Relief Society, and was also a member of the ward choir. I would go with her, on and off. Eventually, in 2003, my grandpa made the decision do be baptized into the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day saints - the day after my birthday! What a birthday present.

It was soon after this that my grandma asked me to see if I could become temple worthy. Like I said before - man am I glad I made that decision when I did.

Growing up in Utah, I never realized just how many temples we have so close by. Growing up in South Central Utah, where the temple was accessible, with no great feat or saving up of money to get there, just a nice family drive, I have taken this great opportunity for granted. Reading about others' temple experiences and the feats that they had to go through to get there amazes me, and gives me a deeper appreciation for the blessing of having 14 in my state that I can attend, and some within only 15 minutes away.

I entered the Salt Lake Temple on January 13th, 2015 for the first time. The temple workers there were so wonderful, welcoming and happy. They welcomed me with open arms, and directed me where to go and exactly what one is supposed to do. I was so nervous! I felt so silly that I was 25 and didn't know the routine! That was never a thought that crossed their minds. The temple wasn't busy that day, so I was able to have a very personal and private experience in the baptismal font. It is something I will never forget.


The Salt Lake temple is very similar to the Manti temple, and being there immediately brought back memories of times when I would go with my grandma and grandpa to the the temple. I was the first grandchild that my grandma Mac baptized when we did baptisms for the dead. It was such a wonderful privilege and experience to have with him there, in the temple. One I will never forget, and am sure to cherish always.

I have set a goal to attend the temple monthly. So far, I have kept my goal, and sometime exceed it! What a wonderful feeling the temple brings me. I feel my grandma's spirit there. In the SLC temple, I am often times back in the Manti temple, with my grandma Mac and Uncle Larry. My grandma is nearby, watching, smiling. I am so proud to say I am her granddaughter. To say that I am my mother's daughter. I am proud of my family and my ancestors. I am proud of the work they did here on this earth, both here of the world and temporally. I am excited to raise my future family in this wonderful church,and to continue my family's legacy.

As I wrote about before, I am going to receive my endowment soon, and just got my temple recommend to do so. I am so happy! I am also nervous, scared, and sometimes doubtful of myself. Am I ready for this commitment? Am I ready for this level spiritually?? After talking with a ward member and good friend, he said something to me that brought instant comfort: "Bishop knows when you are ready. You may doubt yourself and wonder, but he knows when you are ready for something."
Wow!!
I am so lucky and blessed to have such supportive friends and ward members and leaders.

I realize I don't know much about what becoming endowed means. I decided to do as much preparation that I can to be ready for the day that I go.

You guys! We have such AMAZING resources!!!!!!!! The world is filled with such accessible knowledge!!!! The lds.org website is such an amazing site. It is here that I found more information about why LDS members build temples, what happens inside the temples, and the blessings of the temple.
----If you haven't been to a temple open house or have had the opportunity to attend the temple, click here to see what's inside and learn some more about the temple!!

This is what it means to receive an endowment:

Endowment

One ordinance we receive in the temple is the endowment. The word endowment means “gift” or “bestowal.” As part of this ordinance, we are taught about the purpose of life, the mission and Atonement of Jesus Christ, and Heavenly Father’s plan for His children. We gain a glimpse of what it will be like to live in His presence as we feel the peaceful atmosphere of the temple.

I know this isn't a novel. It's not even a page! But after reading this, I instantly felt much more knowledgeable. I instantly felt like: I am ready to receive this information! I can and will understand my purpose here on life much more. All my feelings of insecurity and unworthiness left.

I go to the temple for several reasons.

• I go to feel closer to my Heavenly Father. 
• I go to do temple work.
• I go to remember my ancestors; to give them the opportunities to accept the blessings and ordinances of the church.
•  I go to be with my grandma Joann.

Once again, I urge all of you to go to the temple. If you're unworthy to go, become worthy! You can do it. There are so many blessings there waiting for you!! Your Father loves you so much and wants to be with you! You are invited by so many to go to the temple. Do not be afraid to go alone. There are so many who are willing and waiting for you to ask them, and to go with you.

My love for this church, my Father in Heaven, and for all of you, my brothers and sisters, grows so much more each day. I learn so much from all of you. 

I'll see you at the temple. :) 

Keep Going

You know, I am continually surprised by how easy everything is not. I know that sounds silly, but it's true. It's something a long the lines of, "the grass is always greener on the other side."

Listening to Al Fox Carraway speak at events, and by reading her blog, I am comforted knowing that I am not the only one who is feeling this way.

At the Roots Tech event she spoke about her conversion to the LDS Church and the struggles that she went through AFTER her baptism. That peaked my interest. How could thing be MORE difficult after her baptism? Things are supposed to be easier after making the conscious decision to choose God and choose Jesus Christ.........aren't they?

No.
Without the bad, we cannot know the good. So, there will be struggles. There will be times that we are so confused and so upset and dealing with so much. But we need only ask God for help, and for the reminder that He has so much more planned for us that we can ever imagine.

I am soon to get my endowment.
I thought the process would take a while, months, maybe even a year. I thought I could talk to my bishop about it and then work towards it. I wasn't worried. I wasn't planning on going to the Temple for my endowment soon. I was excited to work and to learn more about my Gospel, and my Lord.
I was about to be very surprised.

I met with  my bishop and he interviewed me. During this interview, yes I was nervous. I didn't want to be told that I was a total mess and had to work a very long time to receive my endowment. But i was ready to be told to wait and to pray and to study and to attend a temple prep class. At the end of the interview questions, his response shocked me. He told me, "Okay McKel, I believe you are ready to go to the Temple."

I was shocked. So soon?? Was he sure??? Weren't there other things??? There had to be?! I was about ready to tell him I wasn't ready! No! Abort mission abort mission!!
I didn't abort. I felt a calm feeling come over me. I took a breath. I replied, "Wow. This is great."

I still feel like I need to abort sometimes. Like I need to stop. Because if I go through with this, I am making covenants and promises, and I am expected to keep them. It's like Spiderman: "With great power comes great responsibility." It's true. With the knowledge that I have and with my mission here on Earth, there will be MUCH opposition. There will be difficult times........some so hard I haven't even fathomed what they are going to be. But I won't know the good if I don't accept the bad. I won't grow into who I am supposed to be if I don't go through these trials. Satan is on a mission too. He is on a mission to convince each and everyone one of us that we are not worthy. That we are awful, bad people who aren't good enough, and should just give up. Those are all lies. Please don't listen to them.

I am nervous. I am afraid of disappointing myself and my Father. I doubt myself.
....But I am trying to doubt my doubts before I doubt my Faith. (President D. F. Uchtdorf, Gen. Conference 2013)

 
"Hard times will consistently be there. But.....so will Christ." -Al Fox Carraway, RootsTech


There is opposition in all things. And, it couldn't be that way. Good things don't just come and come and there be no bad things. Hard times will continuously and consistently  be there. I am now realizing that this is to remind us (I know this is especially true for me) that we can't  do it alone. We can't. God is there to help us and love us and guide us. He has given us so many amazing tools! Not only do we have the prophets of old, but we have modern prophets here now on this Earth today! They give us revelation almost daily! They have twitter accounts and tweet! (isn't that cool?!) I love looking on my phone and seeing words of inspiration and guidance there instantly from my prophet. Yes, MY prophet. And your prophet. We have scriptures that we can get ON OUR PHONES. It is so accessible now. We can carry theses ancient stories and precious words with us Everywhere we go, whether we are traveling overseas or just across the street. I urge and encourage you to take the time to read them! They even read to you! I love that feature. If I know I am running late or don't want to sit and read, I have them read to me from my app. We have the Ensign, New Era, Liahona. We have the Internet and lds.org, and mormon.org, and all of these great sites to help us, and answer our questions. Let us use these.

"Do not let giving up be an option." (Al Fox)
This helps me. This reminds me.

"Keep going. Even in the most confusing and darkest of times knowing that the greatest of blessings are already there, waiting for personally and individually YOU." -Al Fox

Forget not, why you are here.